Hiatus - part 2

This one is for all those friends, family, loved ones, who felt that Hiatus needed a follow up. So then, here goes!!

I had given myself till March to think things over, to decide what is the next step, where am I going now?? March is over and stock taking has begun.....

So what do you do when the roof over your head has been blown away, the walls have collapsed and there is nothing protecting you from the elements? There is just you in your bare feet, floundering in a maelstrom.....

I would love to tell you that I stood up straight and strong, with my head up to be skies and roared that I will not let you defeat me but............ but I cringed, scared, my head down and wept at the unfairness of it all. How many times and in how many ways would I be tested?

Why ME?

WHY?

And then strangely ......it got better!

I can tell you now that time is a great healer and giving myself this time to heal, to think of the next move, of the possibilities ahead of me, has made me better.

I moved slow, I met up with friends and family, I met strangers, acquaintances, mentors. and each new person I spoke to presented me with another clue, added another piece to the jigsaw that was my life and though the picture isn't complete, I can get a sense of what I am and who I want to be...

I know now what my destination is, and though the path is not clear, I can see faint markings leading to my destination and though the going will be tough, that's when the tough get going, don't they??

I have learnt that I do not need to have all the answers right now, right here. That I can move from point to point and wait to see my way clearer before I think of the next step, and then the next......till such time as I reach my destination. There will be a lot of meanderings, maybe some moving back to move forwards, there will be hurdles, some things might fall by the wayside but one thing I am sure of.... the journey will be worth it!!

It is a time for new beginnings, spring is in the air and me? I can feel hope blossoming again. I am re-discovering me, this person that I am, once again and I think I am falling in love with her, once again....