People have been questioning me on what next? What is your plan? How are you moving forward? What career path are you going to take? I can see the worry on my parents face, my siblings look askance, my friends nod their head when I say am on a hiatus to figure things out but I can see skepticism there too.
So what it is that I am really doing now?
What is it that I want to do?
Frankly, I don't have a clue! But then that is the reason for this hiatus....What a lovely word is this 'hiatus', it means both, being on a break or a missing part. This is what I feel, that I am on a break because a part of me is missing. I seem to have misplaced it in the innumerable compromises done at the altar of marriage or in the process of just living.
All the hard won independence, strength, ambition, given up because it is only 'right' to compromise in a relationship.
Really??
I understand that we need to make some changes, some adjustments when we live in a family, certain habits that need to be fine-tuned so that we can comfortably co-exist.... But when we compromise and make changes to our core beliefs, our core personality, our core selves, then, are we truly living? Are we being true to our selves? Are we being who we are or are we donning a mantle that others expect of us? and then is this mantle who we are? The visceral need to be loved and liked by others is what makes us be somebody else. So then, do our compromises make us who we are?
I never understood characters in movies and books who went off to discover themselves and thought that it was very selfish of them especially when they left behind families and children to do so. But the daily grind of living CAN rob you of the opportunity to self reflect, to introspect and really discover who you are. All our lives we spend living from moment to moment without realizing the many different aspects to ourselves...
So, what AM I doing when on this hiatus?? I'm moving slowly, reading a lot, talking and connecting with a lot of people (so far only on social media), introspecting, watching a lot of movies, eating good food, thinking of exercising (ha! at least I am thinking, guys!) introspecting some more, forming an opinion on everything, talking to people about many career options, being envious of people who seem to have it together, and a lot of introspection, forming ideas and rejecting them......
There is/was a trend in western countries to take a year off and explore new countries, etc. which I am sure helped them to know what they wanted out of life. I wish our children will do this and know how to go about their lives better.
In my last post I mentioned the anthem I had adopted "Zindagi aa rahi hoon mein" and now I wish to tell this Zindagi, ke aaongi mein but give me this time to realise ke kiddhar jaaon mein.
After all I AM on a hiatus!!
So what it is that I am really doing now?
What is it that I want to do?
Frankly, I don't have a clue! But then that is the reason for this hiatus....What a lovely word is this 'hiatus', it means both, being on a break or a missing part. This is what I feel, that I am on a break because a part of me is missing. I seem to have misplaced it in the innumerable compromises done at the altar of marriage or in the process of just living.
All the hard won independence, strength, ambition, given up because it is only 'right' to compromise in a relationship.
Really??
I understand that we need to make some changes, some adjustments when we live in a family, certain habits that need to be fine-tuned so that we can comfortably co-exist.... But when we compromise and make changes to our core beliefs, our core personality, our core selves, then, are we truly living? Are we being true to our selves? Are we being who we are or are we donning a mantle that others expect of us? and then is this mantle who we are? The visceral need to be loved and liked by others is what makes us be somebody else. So then, do our compromises make us who we are?
I never understood characters in movies and books who went off to discover themselves and thought that it was very selfish of them especially when they left behind families and children to do so. But the daily grind of living CAN rob you of the opportunity to self reflect, to introspect and really discover who you are. All our lives we spend living from moment to moment without realizing the many different aspects to ourselves...
So, what AM I doing when on this hiatus?? I'm moving slowly, reading a lot, talking and connecting with a lot of people (so far only on social media), introspecting, watching a lot of movies, eating good food, thinking of exercising (ha! at least I am thinking, guys!) introspecting some more, forming an opinion on everything, talking to people about many career options, being envious of people who seem to have it together, and a lot of introspection, forming ideas and rejecting them......
There is/was a trend in western countries to take a year off and explore new countries, etc. which I am sure helped them to know what they wanted out of life. I wish our children will do this and know how to go about their lives better.
In my last post I mentioned the anthem I had adopted "Zindagi aa rahi hoon mein" and now I wish to tell this Zindagi, ke aaongi mein but give me this time to realise ke kiddhar jaaon mein.
After all I AM on a hiatus!!
