An utopia for humankind is so easy to imagine and pontificate about, what we need is equal opportunity for all, all people clothed, fed, housed and not discriminated against on the basis of race, colour, religion, caste, creed and so on. What can then be Utopia for a marginalized, discriminated against, 50% of our society?
What about discrimination against gender? The insidious perpetuation of daily injustices that form a woman's life. The oh so small, 'i can brush it away' differences, so small that 'it can hardly matter' kind of discrimination, so small that it is way of life kind of discrimination. The kind of discrimination which if you raise your voice against, you are 'abused' by being called a feminist as if that's a rude word!
When we Indians talk of utopia, we call it 'Ram Rajya', the kingdom of Lord Ram, considered as an ideal ruler, son, husband and brother. The son who abdicated his throne to fulfill an oath given by his father to his stepmother and roamed the forests for 14 years as a hermit along with his wife, Sita and brother, Laxman.
Though it is a myth and is not meant to be taken literally, the questions it raises are many. The questions raised about Ram's motivation have been answered by many gyanis' to the satisfaction of their followers. My questions concern Sita. This obviously educated, privileged daughter, wife and bahu of kings, who followed her husband to vanvaas, to a life devoid of luxury and comforts she was used to, to be kidnapped, rescued and then to be accused of infidelity and asked to time and again prove herself innocent by virtue of hurling herself in the fire by this ideal husband. Years later to prove that Luv and Kush are biologically Ram's children, she is once again asked to prove her fidelity to him but this time, she has had enough and she asks the earth (her mother) to subsume her.
My questions, dear Sita, to you are, why did you not raise your voice against this injustice then, the first time you were asked to prove your purity? Why did you not ask this man, your husband that if you had been raped by your kidnapper then what? would he have abandoned you right away? why were you asked to prove your innocence instead of him proving your guilt? Did you not ask, why he abandoned you, left you without resources, with no recourse to law and yet is idolized as the ideal man? Why did he not initiate a dialogue with you, inform you of his intentions to separate from you, rather than just dump you in the forest? Why did he not have enough courage to do it himself rather asked his brother to do it for him?
Why did you (possibly in disgust) end your life, rather than take the route of law to protest against the injustices heaped upon you? Did you not have confidence in the law of the land? Did you not have courts to appeal for justice? Or were the courts, in your time too, slow in dispensing justice?
Were you worried that society would not stand by you, that your family would ostracize you, if you created ripples?
Why did you O Sitay, not go back home to your father? Were you ashamed of your predicament? Did you fear that he too would believe the public opinion about your infidelity? That he would turn you away from his doorstep? That he would not offer you a home regardless of your indiscretions? Did you believe that you no longer had a home there as you were married and could not lay claim to it? What were your motivations/ insecurities?
And then there was Draupadi.... Brave, forthright, strong Draupadi, won by one man, married to 5, a Sakhi to another, Draupadi, lost like a bit of property to a game of chance by the husband called as Dharamraja, disrobed in a Sabha and not one raised voice to help her. Draupadi whose fate was sealed because as a wife she was the property of her husband and he could gamble her away.
Draupadi's public humiliation and Sita's parikshas evoke comparisons with women in present India being raped, tortured, murdered for the perceived guilt of their fathers/brothers/ husbands. Women treated as chattel, used to subdue dissent from their families. Women accused of crimes with no help from the society, family or law. Women expected to leave their careers, life, friends and move homes if husbands are transferred to another city.
Infinite inequalities are bestowed upon the female gender; the first to be pulled out of school when money is low, the last to be brought in for treatment of life threatening diseases; the first to be put to work when in need, the last to be fed when food is limited.
Little, insidious things that escape notice in the regular course of life, these little insidious things that we end up believing as a way of life.
Do not be smarter than your husband / brother / any man
Do not earn more than any male member of your family especially your husband
Do not question the status quo
Do not have opinions of your own or at least do not express them verbally/ assertively
Do not believe that your money helps to run a household
Do not believe that you are as important as any male member of your family, extended family, neighborhood, society, country, or the world at large............
Utopia : an impractical, idealistic scheme for social and political reform.
