Patience: the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious.

Be patient, your time will come.

Good things come to those who wait....

Give it time, things will work out....

Patience is a virtue....

How often we hear these words from our well wishers, when we get upset or champ at the bit to get going. Patience is a virtue to be cultivated, it is said. I wish then that it came as seeds in a packet with a detailed howto.

Cultivating patience is like waiting at the curb, watching the cars zip past, watching for the signal to turn green. You are on your toes, looking anxiously time and again at the cars and the signal, for the exact moment when it is safe to cross. The cars and the people in them who are already on their way to their destination, makes the waiter feel quite inadequate. While awaiting for your turn, you start to question your destination,
should you keep moving even if you have to change your direction?
are you on the right path?
is life passing you by?
how much longer?

Those few seconds at the curb can seem like an eternity to the person who waits impatiently

So are you going to be foolish and try to weave your way through the zipping cars or are you going to be patient? :)

Hiatus - part 2

This one is for all those friends, family, loved ones, who felt that Hiatus needed a follow up. So then, here goes!!

I had given myself till March to think things over, to decide what is the next step, where am I going now?? March is over and stock taking has begun.....

So what do you do when the roof over your head has been blown away, the walls have collapsed and there is nothing protecting you from the elements? There is just you in your bare feet, floundering in a maelstrom.....

I would love to tell you that I stood up straight and strong, with my head up to be skies and roared that I will not let you defeat me but............ but I cringed, scared, my head down and wept at the unfairness of it all. How many times and in how many ways would I be tested?

Why ME?

WHY?

And then strangely ......it got better!

I can tell you now that time is a great healer and giving myself this time to heal, to think of the next move, of the possibilities ahead of me, has made me better.

I moved slow, I met up with friends and family, I met strangers, acquaintances, mentors. and each new person I spoke to presented me with another clue, added another piece to the jigsaw that was my life and though the picture isn't complete, I can get a sense of what I am and who I want to be...

I know now what my destination is, and though the path is not clear, I can see faint markings leading to my destination and though the going will be tough, that's when the tough get going, don't they??

I have learnt that I do not need to have all the answers right now, right here. That I can move from point to point and wait to see my way clearer before I think of the next step, and then the next......till such time as I reach my destination. There will be a lot of meanderings, maybe some moving back to move forwards, there will be hurdles, some things might fall by the wayside but one thing I am sure of.... the journey will be worth it!!

It is a time for new beginnings, spring is in the air and me? I can feel hope blossoming again. I am re-discovering me, this person that I am, once again and I think I am falling in love with her, once again....