Today was the day I hammered the final nail in the coffin that was my marriage. The symbolism of the day cannot be missed. Millions of women are celebrating 'karva chauth', an ode to the man in their life, a prayer for their long life and a belief that for the next 7 birth cycles they would be husband and wife. I did not keep this 'fast'. Do not believe that my fasting for a day would contribute to the long life of my husband, I do not believe that regardless of my beliefs I should bow to convention and just do it. My naive, low on confidence self did do it once, for convention's sake, for what will people say.....
This post started as a 'oh I feel so sorry for me', but has evolved into a 'look at me, I am growing' comment. I have been through the full cycle of grieving, denial, anger, apathy, bargaining, depression, anger and acceptance stages and writing the first blog entry was a cathartic experience. I wrote in my post, very frivolously, 'therapy at my fingertips' without really understanding what a huge impact it had on me.
It brought me to this week which has become about new beginnings and reaffirmations. I found reaffirmation regarding the vocation (I won't call it career) that I had embarked on two years ago. I have found the passion, the drive to continue onward. I found old friends with new understanding and love which comes with heartache and maturity (Dear Sonora, Thank you!), I have new friends who I have so much respect for as they have been following their path with such sincerity and compassion. And then, of course, my family, close and extended, what can I say, except I am Blessed!
I can see my path clearly, I'm sure there are obstacles on the way but at least I know my destination. It is not going to be easy, for a while it is going to be a struggle, There might be some minor missteps, some falls, some uneven roads, but 'Zindagi aa rahi hoon main!
p.s This is definitely my anthem!!
p.p.s anthem: a usually rousing popular song that typifies or is identified with a particular subculture, movement, or point of view
This post started as a 'oh I feel so sorry for me', but has evolved into a 'look at me, I am growing' comment. I have been through the full cycle of grieving, denial, anger, apathy, bargaining, depression, anger and acceptance stages and writing the first blog entry was a cathartic experience. I wrote in my post, very frivolously, 'therapy at my fingertips' without really understanding what a huge impact it had on me.
It brought me to this week which has become about new beginnings and reaffirmations. I found reaffirmation regarding the vocation (I won't call it career) that I had embarked on two years ago. I have found the passion, the drive to continue onward. I found old friends with new understanding and love which comes with heartache and maturity (Dear Sonora, Thank you!), I have new friends who I have so much respect for as they have been following their path with such sincerity and compassion. And then, of course, my family, close and extended, what can I say, except I am Blessed!
I can see my path clearly, I'm sure there are obstacles on the way but at least I know my destination. It is not going to be easy, for a while it is going to be a struggle, There might be some minor missteps, some falls, some uneven roads, but 'Zindagi aa rahi hoon main!
p.s This is definitely my anthem!!
p.p.s anthem: a usually rousing popular song that typifies or is identified with a particular subculture, movement, or point of view
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